Tuesday, October 5, 2010

This is why I'm not

Oh sweet Jesus... you know when you try and be witty and smart and then people react and you're not 100% sure if people are engaging with you or if they just secretly hate you and think you're an arrogant try hard? 

Story of me life.

Had to write this class blog.  Why I decided to try and be facetious and 'clever'; unsure.  Anyhow, result: I elicited a direct response from a certain tutor and I am unsure if she finds my comments amusing or plain rude.  I hope she doesn't think I hate her or am mocking her (because I'm totally not).  Maybe she thinks I am a loser who deals with my own insecurities by mocking others? (partly true)  I think her personal response piqued the interest of my fellow classmates and now my unfortunate rantings have been exposed to my entire class.  I WISH I HAD A PSEUDONYM. 

Also, thought I was being funny in deriding individuals who love sci-fi last week.  Now feel that this may have been a terrible move on my part and I am under the distinct impression that I invoked hatred for my ranting, negative and cynical ways (and also for me personally).  This has nothing to do with the tutor or that particular class but is just another general life misfortune for me at the moment.  Ugh

I can't help it, I really can't.  It's like I have linguistic chunder in the form of abuse and sarcasm.  I seriously can't control my urge to be critical of others.  Sorry.

This is why I hang out by myself at Uni.  Shit.....

x

p.s. any advice re. being nice, optimistic and positive would be greatly appreciated.

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